A Halloween Dog Parade That Just Might Change Your Life

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I’M NOT A HUGE FAN OF HALLOWEEN, BUT I LOVE DOGS MORE THAN I LOVE MY OWN CAT WHEN HE’S BEING WITHHOLDING. MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT DOGS IS THEIR PAWS, HAIR, BODIES, CHEEKS, PERSONALITIES AND ABILITY TO WAIT PATIENTLY FOR LIGHTS TO TURN GREEN SO THEY CAN CROSS THE STREET WITH THEIR OWNERS.

WHEN I WAS INFORMED BY LOUISIANA, A WOMAN WHO WORKS AT MAN REPELLER AND WEARS COOL SWEATERS, NOT THE STATE, THAT THE LARGEST COSTUME DOG PARADE TAKES PLACE IN TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK EVERY OCTOBER, I TEXTED THE THREE PEOPLE I KNOW IN NEW YORK TO MAKE PLANS (MY BROTHER, MY BOYFRIEND, MY COWORKER) AND IMMEDIATELY RE-DRAFTED MY FIVE-YEAR PLAN.

GO AHEAD AND CALL ME BASIC FOR LOVING DOGS IN COSTUMES, POT, BUT MAYBE CHECK OUT A SHIH TZU DRESSED AS DOROTHY (SLIDE 15) OR A CORGI DRESSED AS A HANDMAID (SLIDE 25) BEFORE YOU CALL THE KETTLE BLACK.

WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE PARK LAST WEEKEND, I WAS FIRST MET BY THOUSANDS OF PERSPIRING PEOPLE WHO OPTIMISTICALLY THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE SWEATER WEATHER AND DIDN’T DRESS APPROPRIATELY FOR THE 80-DEGREE DAY, BUT MAYBE I’M PROJECTING. NO MATTER THOUGH, SOON THE NIRVANA OF FOUR-LEGGED HOT DOGS AND BUMBLE BEES USURPED MY PHYSIOLOGICAL NEED FOR COMFORT AND SAFETY, THUS PROVING MASLOW’S PYRAMID WRONG.

OBVIOUSLY MY PROSE COULD NEVER CAPTURE THE SUBLIMINAL, CORE-SHAKING JOY OF ATTENDING A HALLOWEEN DOG PARADE, SO PLEASE CLICK THROUGH THE SLIDESHOW ABOVE SHOT BY LOUISIANA, THE WOMAN NOT THE STATE, TO SEE THE GOODS FOR YOURSELF. BUT BEFORE YOU DO SO, PLEASE, A MOMENT OF REVERENCE FOR MY FAVORITE COSTUME AT THE PARADE.

SORRY FOR THE POOR QUALITY OF THIS PHOTO OF A SMALL CANINE DRESSED UP AS A DUST BUNNY; I SHOT IT VIA IPHONE WITH SHAKY, AWESTRUCK HANDS, BUT I HOPE YOU CAN GLEAN ITS SIGNIFICANCE THROUGH THE LITERAL ANGELIC SUN STREAKS. SOME OTHER FAVORITES OF NOTE INCLUDE A SHIH TZU BEING EATEN BY A SHARK (SLIDE 21), A YORKIE DRESSED AS A SAILOR (SLIDE 27), A CORGI DRESSED AS A CHIA PET (SLIDE 30), GOLDEN RETRIEVER DRESSED AS A LOBSTER (SLIDE 1), A PAPILLON DRESSED AS A BUTTERFLY (SLIDE 36) AND TWO DACHSHUNDS DRESSED AS BUZZ LIGHTYEAR AND WOODY (SLIDE 50), RESPECTIVELY.

Sorry, didn’t imply to shout. Better of luck to you in surviving the above slideshow. Dogspeed.

Images by Louisiana Mei Gelpi. 

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